Dear Redwitch,
Redwitch, what your friend is faced with is what is called obsessive compulsive disorder...please follow this link,

This link will be able to explain to you in correct terms exactly what she is dealing with and how to get help. The only thing is she has to recognize that it IS a problem before realizing she needs help.  good luck and thank you for submitting your letter....  
Sincerely,
Bee

...DEAR BEE
I think i'm in love with two totally different women. I have feelings for both, but not sure if it's just friends,love or maybe even both. Right now i'm keeping everything in check because i am friends with both women. The one thinks i'm in love with her and the other wants to be just friends. I am good friends with both women. Can you help me. I need you advice. Should i not worry about it and just stay friends with both of them, or tell them both how i feel and let them decide. I definately dont want to ruin our friendship.
thank you,
Emotions

Dear Emotions,
Thank you for writing to me, trusting me enough with your most private thoughts, and questions. I hope I can shed some light on your dilemma to help you decide what is best for you to do. I have to say that, Honesty is always the best policy.... everything in life is a risk but if you don’t take risks you would be one very empty unhappy person. So why not talk to each of these women and tell them your feelings. Let them think about what you have said and then talk to them again. I think because of your honesty they both would be very appreciative and be able to, if nothing else, keep the friendships you so desire, with no hard feelings. Good luck, and please let me know how your problem is resolved.
Sincerely,
Bee


...DEAR BEE
I have a problem that I am hoping you can help me with. It may not seem like much of a problem to some people but it is about to drive me crazy. Here goes: My husband whines....now i know it sounds like I am whining but I am at my wits end with how to deal the constant complaining about what a raw deal in life he has been dealt. I love my husband dearly, but i am sick to death of him having these "pity parties" and inviting me to listen as he recites his horrible exsistance over and over again. When I try to help him see that his life really isn't as bad as what he thinks it is he says i am turning it around to be about me. This happened just last night in fact. And what really irritates me is that during the day he is perfectly fine with his life because he stays busy with work and projects around the house when he is at home. This is really not a new problem, it is just starting to rub me the wrong way finally because I don't see that his life is so horrible....I have asked him if this is about our marriage and he gets mad at me saying "there you go again, trying to make this about you, it has nothing to do with you!!!" In my opinion it is about me also as I would like know if being married to me is any of the reason he is so unhappy. I try to be a supportive wife. He has never had any reason to doubt my love for him. And he comes home everyday to a clean home and a good meal on the stove. The lines of communication have always been open between us except with this one topic. I know that sometimes it is best to just sit there and have an open ear but this really is starting to get old.
Any advice you could give me would be extremely helpful and appreciated.
Sincerely,
Would you like some cheese with that WHINE

Dear Cheese with that WHINE,
NO, DONT offer him cheese with that WHINE, sounds to me like he has had way too much. First I thought about telling you to get your husband to go to the childrens ward at your local hospital to see how much THESE children have suffered, are suffering and will be suffering and STILL have positive attitudes even in their circumstances but I really didnt think that would help........... maybe later that might be a plan but for now, I think the advice I will give you is the next time he "invites" you to his pity party........and you see where the conversation is going....come right out and ask him point blank, "What is it in YOUR life that makes you feel this way?" Hopefully he will share details with you, and then, dont ask, but TELL him since he is obviously so unhappy and still has issues in his life he has not been able to deal with, have the name already of a reputable counselor to refer him to and if he refuses, let it rest but the next time he goes to that pity party with you, follow the same steps I have just suggested. If he still refuses, bring it to his attention once again that obviously he has issues in his life he has NOT dealt with and tell him he better do so because it IS affecting your relationship whether he thinks so or not!!!!! And, again have the name of a reputable counselor he can call and make an appt. to see! I think that is the best advice I can give you at this time. Please let me know what transpires and, good luck.
Sincerely,
BEE


...DEAR BEE,
How come I try as I might, but I never seem to be able to gain control of my life? Is it extremely difficult to be able to support yourself? I am in financial and emotional ruins and dont see a way out. I am trying really hard, but for unmentioned circumstances, my expenses are beyond my means and there is nothing I can do to lesson the expenses "substantially" to gain control. My emotional difficulties are beyond my control, as I cannot have what I want and need.
Many things have changed in my life and I have felt that I have suffered many emotional losses. Losses that may never return or may take many years to return. As my life stands, there are not many joys. I have one constant and one rock, however that too is in the distance. I dont know that I have ever felt this defeated and depressed. Please help me "BEE". I am at a loss of how to continue in the path that life is leading me in.
Defeated

Dear Defeated,
First off I want to say, I am so very sorry life has beaten you down so far you do feel defeated. I am sorry too for the pain you are feeling that depression brings. Charles Swindoll. a notable author, said, the longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. He then suggested that we not allow lifes adversities to discourage and immobilize us. We cannot always control our outer circumstances but we can control the way we respond to them. One morning I woke to the sound of birds singing cheerfully outside my window. I lay there contemplating the moment and I wondered, Why are they singing? Are they talking to other birds? Perhaps the birds are sounding an alarm or telling where they found some food. Or maybe, just maybe, the singing is a natural response mechanism inherent in the birds to express happiness, and bring about joy in those listening. Although, I must admit, I dont know much about the life of birds, I do believe in a God who created them and didnt give them their songs without a reason. Surely it is no accident that birds can sing. But what is more remarkable to me is that they do sing, in spite of what they may experience in their short lives. For example, birds must find shelter from a storm in places like trees, bushes, or rocks, and when the weather clears they sing brightly and boldly, as if to say thank you to their protector. Dont let the storms of life steal your voice and cause you to forget to sing...
"Blue skies with white clouds on summer days. A myriad of stars on clear moonlit nights. Tulips and roses and violets and daisies. Hydrangeas, pine trees and azaleas. Bluebirds and laughter and sunshine......we have much to be thankful for." Some out there are dealing with much greater difficulties than I....facing catastrophic illnesses but are still facing life with a courage that is an inspiration to me. When I look at them I know that we really dont have to allow lifes adversities to discourage and immobilize us. Each of us has been given a song unlike any other. Dont let the storms of life steal your song.
Sincerely,
Bee